I suffer from pretty severe social anxiety, especially now that most of the covid restrictions have been lifted and many people are out there socializing in large and small groups. I actually felt much less anxious when covid restrictions were in place and we couldn’t do much socializing in person.
First some vocabulary words which I hope are helpful:
What is anxiety? “Anxiety is your body’s natural response to stress. It’s a feeling of fear or apprehension about what’s to come (https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety).” Some situations that may cause anxiety include taking a test, the first day of school, going on a first date, etc.
When is anxiety considered a disorder? “… if your feelings of anxiety are extreme, last for longer than six months, and are interfering with your life, you may have an anxiety disorder (https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety).”
What is social anxiety ? “Social anxiety disorder (also called social phobia) is a mental health condition. It is an intense, persistent fear of being watched and judged by others (https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/social-anxiety-disorder-more-than-just-shyness/).”
I believe that at times my social anxiety can be considered a disorder, especially when it interferes with my life. One example is my fear of going to get togethers like parties, especially those with more than a few people. The guests could be people I know or don’t know. Lately I’ve been attending these gatherings with my husband who is a big help. I tend to stick by his side and talk with people he’s speaking with. I actually end up listening much more than talking.
Another way I handle large gatherings is by NOT handling them and simply not going. I did this on July 4th. This tactic, however, is usually not an option if the party concerns a family member(s) or a certain holiday.
My psychiatrist gave me a medication, Propanolol which is supposed to help me with my social anxiety at large parties, etc. I’ve taken it twice so far. The the first time it seemed to work and the second time it didn’t. I ended up having an anxiety attack in which I left the party and took a walk. This helped so that I could return to the party. I was fine from then on. I’ll probably still use Propanolol at my next large party.
I also have social anxiety when we need to have a repair person come to our house. Again it could be someone I know or don’t know. We tend to put repairs off until we really need them usually because I have anxiety about people working in our house. Sometimes I bite the bullet and have the repair done. Usually I’m fine if it’s a quick job and not fine if it’s a long and complicated job. My husband has been helpful by working from home when a repair person is coming.
I even have social anxiety when my daughter has a play date at our house. Her friends are very nice and respectful but I think that my trigger is having people who don’t live in my house, in my house. There really is no place to “hide” very well in my house.
I believe that some of my social anxiety might come from the time when I had pretty severe depression and didn’t attend my high school graduation. I didn’t want to be seen in my home town. I eventually allowed myself to be seen but to this day I still feel a little anxious there.
I also think that my social anxiety might come from having been teased pretty mercilessly about being fat through a good deal of my childhood and adolescence. Even though I’ve lost weight, I’m still very self-conscious about my weight and entire body.
For the most part I live with my social anxiety and go to social gatherings and meetings. I however torment my husband about going to social events with his side of our family. This is something I’m trying to work out in therapy.
Does social anxiety affect your life?
How do you manage your social anxiety?
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